Aside from a bloated stomach, I am alive.

Okay, I know I am getting ahead of myself. So let’s start from the very beginning.

Since I had my thyroidectomy ten years ago, my years would not go by without laboratory tests. Tests that include cancer tracers to make sure that there’s no recurrence (please refer to this blog: https://annkristine.com/2013/10/courage-doing-it-afraid/)

For the last decade, my laboratory tests were normal. Tracer tests for cancer were consistently negative.

Until December 2022.

The cancer tracer revealed a value of 1.

2023 came. I went back and forth to the hospital for more confirmatory tests.

Until the inevitable came: the thyroid cancer was back. I learned it a day before my birthday.

The doctor said I need to undergo radioactive iodine (RAI) therapy soonest to remove the cancer cells.

During the waiting time, I felt frustration, sadness, and worry. I told myself I would never have cancer again. I had long and ugly cries day and night.

On the contrary, I also had the time to reflect; to discover why the recurrence happened.

I realized that these 3 things happened in a span of 1 year:
1. I had to experience grief.
2. My full-time work allowed me to discover my leadership capabilities. However, stress came with it.
3. I never really committed to my sleeping hours. For my 4:00 AM work, I need to sleep at 7:00 PM. I still slept at 9:00 PM. Plus I couldn’t sleep much in the afternoon because it’s too close to my “supposed” bedtime.

Rinse and repeat.

I wish it was a journey I never had to take. Yet I faced it head on, not because it’s the card I need to deal with.

It’s because it was the wake-up call that I needed. Somehow, I needed a pullback.

So, I entered the hospital for confinement, took the green capsule, and became She-Hulk for two weeks (a.k.a. radioactive).

Such is the irony of life, where people of this world say “you have all the time.” Yet a prophet in the Great Book said, “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12 NIV)

I faced this health challenge but not without a community of prayer warriors I managed to put together. Their prayers helped during my two-week isolation period – a period where I was physically alone in the hospital and in a rented house. No one could get near me, yet I felt their embrace. I am forever grateful to them. (You know who you are. Thank you.)

All my post-therapy body scans revealed that the green capsule did its work. The cancer is gone. No other traces of cancer were seen in the other parts of my body.

I felt mild side effects, such as light pain under my right ear, and a bloated stomach.

Yet I am alive.

I know I prayed for this, yet seeing myself at the end of what I have been through is still nothing but surreal. I get a new lease on life.

You don’t know what crossing the next half of 2023 meant to me.

It also meant there was also a lot to do. I had scheduled events, work to do, and probably new dreams to build. These things were put on hold, and now, I am ready to pick them up and continue the journey.

Here’s to wishing you are happy you are alive.

A taste of home, which Mama literally placed in front of the door. Then she knocked, said “Hello and I love you!”, and left.

The view from the hospital window. I saw the LRT trains, and realized that yes, Manila does sleep.

Me the day after the therapy. I didn’t comb my hair and it looked pretty darn good. Not combing my hair anymore.

The badge

In the next few days after posting my health challenge story on Facebook, friends sent me direct messages.

They said they cried after reading my story.

They didn’t know that behind the smile, the replies on their hellos, and the responses that I gave when they asked for help, I was fighting a battle.

They said they cried because in spite of what I was going through, I continue to be me as if life is “normal.”

To add, they cried because I chose to share what I have been through.

Everyone is struggling. Yet you put a brave face on because you see your friends smiling on their posts.

We have become experts in curating our own content on social. You have reasons for that.

To me, sharing that post had a simple goal: if you think you need to step back and check on yourself, please do.

You think you need a health check? Go get those tests.

You think you have been doing too much work and less sleep? If you die tomorrow, your employer or client will replace you, sooner or later.

“How are you, really?” Should be answered by you and only you with clarity.

Another lesson I learned from what happened to me: all of us are given wake-up calls. Few are able to be aware of them, let alone consider listening to the calls.

If your wake-up call is up, take it.

So here I am, going back to life that was put on hold. Thankful and grateful to you who prayed for me (wow you guys are a lot), made their presence felt through food and online games (I realized I suck at Scrabble), and looked out for me. I pray for you every day because it’s the best gift I could do to repay you.

This photo is a 100-piece puzzle that my brother bought recently. Excited to build new dreams.